10 Jun 2009

Snakes Alive

Yes, indeed it warrants multiple exclamation marks does this one.
So there I was, just woke up, innocently walking down the shortcut at the back of our appartment block. Same as always, just heading out to start me day.
Half way down the jungly back lane, looking at the floor to avoid stepping on millipedes (often numerous), suddenly something in a deep primeval sense triggered. I didn't see anything, or hear anything, but some recess of my mind sensed something dangerous.
I stopped dead, almost like a switch was flipped in my head, and looked up at the road ahead.
My eyes quickly surveyed the scene, tarmac, jungle each side, leaves, branch.

Hmmm.

Odd looking branch on the road.
Sort of branch like, but slightly.... curvier, yes, distinctly curvy that branch, sort of smoothish....
sort of waving side to side ish
in a
snakey sort of way.

Oh smeg

Oh smeg indeed.

A cobra, black, about 1 meter long and about 4 meters further down the road. Head up, coiled in strike position, looking directly at me, slightly swaying.

Oh smegetty smeg smeg.

So, lucky for me I seem quite intent on staying alive, so my mind tells me occasionally, I assess my options.

Clearly taking the short cut has its benefits, am I prepared to relinquish such a labour saving device? Shall I be forced to do battle with the snake in order to shave 5 minutes off my travel time? How would I fight a snake? With a stick perhaps, but crap, how can I be sure that the stick I grab isn't another snake? Do I have a lethal bite perhaps? Erm, no, but the snake does, rather lethal in fact, perhaps you might call it "deadly", certainly deadly bite is not the best way to start in the day. What do like for breakfast sir? "oh well I'll have the continental breakfast with extra butter, orange juice and a deadly bite please".

So, what's the other option? Tried fight, not going to happen, so, erm, flight perhaps???

And all of this in just a fraction of a millisecond, who'd believe that?

Step back, slowly, oh so slowly. One step...... two...... he's still looking, still swaying a little, my he's a big bugger, I can see the curve of his head, the chevron shaped face..... three steps.....four

Suddenly it relaxed, dropped its head down (here i offered a little prayer of thanks to Steve Irwin and David Attenbrough) and slithered backwards into the grass.

I breathed.

Then turned.

And I ran.