It Ain't arf 'ot mum

Indeed today is rather on the warm side. I woke up this morning and had a lovely 20 minute suntanning on the balcony, listening to the sounds of birds and motorbikes. Then had a bloody good go at tidying the appartment (along with scrubbing at the nasty stain that was left by a cat, I forgot to mention that in my New Year blog, when we got back home and paid the theif taxi driver, then we discovered a lovely big steamer on the doorstep, a present from some local toerag moggie that I hope for his sake I never catch in the act, or he'll get some free flying lessons from the 6th floor, then we'll see if he lands on his feet after I've rung his bloody neck) and trying to make it look passable and cosy for tonights party. Yes it's once again my birthday and I am feeling decidedly past my prime (ably assisted by my post festive season gutrot and general lethargy). Yes 27 years old, knocking on 30 in a rather unpleasent manner. However it's nice to know I still got a mental age of 4 and a half.

I went shopping yesterday to some delightfully dodgy booze shops in Brickfields (an indian part of town). All this booze comes very much grey import from Thailand, much of it is totally dirty and undrinkable, but highly alcoholic and exceptionally cheap (got a litre of Vodka for around 3 quid) so I bought, 1 litre vodka, 1 litre rum, 1 litre Thai Song (odd Thai not-quite-whiskey-not-quite-rum-not-quite-potable-but-potent) and around 1 and half litres of assorted unknown other high proof liquor. So punch it is tonight then kids, and what a mighty punch it will have.

On Thursday night it was the 26th wedding anniversary of Vanessas aunt and uncle, so the whole lot of us went out for a very tasty buffet dinner at the Mandarin Oriental. A very posah hotel next door (literally) to the Petronas towers, where the door staff all look a little bit like the genie from aladdin (minus blue skin of course) and the variety of buffet curry was delectable. Yum yum indeed.

Well, after tonights birthday festivities I should be able to settle into a slightly more normal eating routine, and hopefully shift a couple of the extra tonnes I piled up in the gut department over this festive seasons festivities, maybe I'll give my liver a few days to metabolise all those lovely coagulated fatty droplets too. It never hurts to try and stave off cirrhosis for a few more weeks now does it.

Very soon mum and dad will be popping over for a flying visit, sadly only 2 weeks, which isn't very long over in this part of the world I can tell you, but there we go, it's a start and I'm pretty certain they'll be desperate to come back ASAP.

Last night a tree round the corner from Vanessas parents place got struck by lighting, cleaved in twain and deposited across the road. This was a bit unnerving for me, as only an hour before I'd been stood underneath that tree (though not in the savage storm, just before as I walked the dog) and watched monkeys vigerously copulating on somebodys garden fence. Yes, copulating, yes I was watching. It wasn't so much out of voyeurism, or even that much out of the David Bellemy sense of "Oh wow, a monkey taking another monkey from behind on a fence, now isn't that a beautiful bit of nature in action". No in fact it was more out of plane old shock. There I was, walking the dog (not a euphamism) minding my own business, when suddenly the dog tried to drag me off towards what turned out to be a troupe of simians. One of them looked like it was going to try and savage the dog, or me, or both, whilst the dog kept straining at the lead because it wanted to go and sniff the nasty little buggers poo-pipe. So there I was, one eye on the potential attacker, another eye on the 6 other potential attackers. When low and behold, a small female (I presume it was female, but knowing monkeys it could go either way) lifted her tail, bent right over and waved her buttocks. A very large male sauntered over, lowered his gaze to check the proferred buttock offering, nodded his approval and then with both hands grabbed a good grip on her cheeks, shuffled himself up and started monkey humping. In broad daylight, have you no shame.
Well I do monkey boy, and it wouldn't do much for my Face for me to be caught gawping open mouthed at monkeys doing it doggy-doggy, but the doggy would budge cos it was staring at another monkey. So I was obliged to wait this out (luckly only 30 seconds and with no frantic ook-ooking to be heard at all thank goodness).
No I didn't get any photos, you dirty buggers.

So there we go, at least I can go to my grave saying "well at least I got to watch some monkeys having a shag".

What did you do this week?