Oh the hilarity

Just a quickie, as I just couldn't resist telling you straight away. I just saw one of the oddest things, whilst shopping for new stuff for our lovely new apartment.
In the shopping centre is one of those places with random entertainment for little kiddies, and there I saw possibly the most incongruous sight.
A small Malay child riding on a mechanical zebra, ok, not so weird, but the zebra was playing Jingle Bells from inside its face.
A asian muslim, riding on a fake african equine creation, playing christmas songs from its face in May?

Oh dear, where am I?

On another side note of weirdness, I was delighted almost to death yesterday with the Malaysian style of fitting out a new appartment. Firstly they fitted a water heater power shower so we can bathe in less than subzero conditions, ok, but because the landlord is so bloody cheap he didn't want to do it properly, so instead of wiring it up nicely he got the contractors to bodge it by wiring the shower up to the light fitting.
Great idea Einstein.

So day one, I turn on the light then go to take a shower. Hmm, why did the RCD just trip? Have a look, then a quick visual inspection, no the shower doesn't turn on if the light is off. Oh dear.
Call Landlord, call him a cheapskate, so he gets the boys to "fix it"
They come, declare it "fixed" then bugger off.
Phenomenally unsafe morons that they are, all they bloody did was fit a higher ampage RCD, but daft old silly Timbo is too pre-occupied with feeling sorry for himself with his injuries to check properly. So yesterday I turn on the bathroom light
BANG!!!!
Darkness.
"Hmmm, what is this", although in the back of my mind I know the answer. I open the bathroom door and see a black spot on the wall, where once there was fresh virgin paint. "Ho ho ho, I got to see this for myself:.
So I off the light, then flip the trip back on, keeping a safe distance I turn the flip the light on.
BAAANNGG, POP!!!

Wheee, fireworks in the bathroom, the blinking power cable for the shower has exploded in a shower of nicely deadly blue sparks, then of course the power cuts out again. My goodness me boys, has your mother never told you that water and electricity don't mix? No, of course she hasn't because you're Indonesian contractor and your mother probably doesn't even know how to spell her own name, do you? Is your name even the same as the one on your fake ID card? I doubt it.

So I shout at the landlord, call him an utter cheapskate and mention that I'm more than a little bit upset at him trying to kill me and vanessa in order to save a pound or two, so he comes back with his moron contractors. They look at it and have a little discussion, at which point I tell them that whatever brainchild they're trying to cook up will never work so do it my way. my way however costs about a Fiver and would take an hour, so "ooooh, cannot lah". Instead they fix on drilling a hole in the wall, to the back kitchen (semi-outdoors) and wiring it directly into the mains that feeds the socket there. OK, no problem, but then i realise that they just bodged it "for the time being" and left the socket hanging off the wall. I mean come on, it's 240volts and enough ampage to cook a donkey, but there we have it, got to wait until tomorrow with a death shower sitting there all nice and deadly. Fab, I hope it doesn't rain or the bloody fuseboard will explode in a fabulous cloud of doom - then again, I hope it does rain because then it would teach the cheapskate landlord that penny-pinching doesn't pay, but that's the Malaysian way, and I've seen it a milion times in a million ways, and it always ends up costing more, but they always come back again and try to do it cheap-cheap, thinking that classic line of "I know where I went wrong last time".

Yes, Malaysians never learn, but at least it's entertaining, and, touch wood, it hasn't killed me yet.
Not yet.

Now I'm going to go and have a ride on the good old fashioned Christmas carolling Zebra to cheer me up