Good job I'm not a web designer innit. I thought my blog was looking quite nice and swanky, but the problem is I organise the new layout on my laptop, which has a lovely widescreen monitor. So whenever I've been looking at it it looks all lovely and nicely laid out, but now I see it on a regular common or garden desktop monitor then I discover the youtube videos are half cut off. Oh dear, this don't look so nace at all now does it. As per Sheryl and Vanessas advice I have got rid of the black background, cos they both said it makes their eyes go all spastic in a Steven Hawkins stylee. Did you know that in Malaysia it's quite acceptable to call brain-cripples "Spastics" in the newspapers? Bet you didn't eh, well they regularly run articles that show mongs in workshops making stuff (less of a sweatshop, more of a droolshop I suppose) with a headline such as "Just because their spastics doesn't mean they can't have their uses sometimes". Really, this is very true, I'm not just being a contraversial bugger. They normally have a very patronising by-line saying things like "these sweet underpriviledged souls" etc. Brilliant. Call a spade a spade and that, that's the Malaysian way.
I mention this because I've been fliking through the old papers as I got my recycling done today, I came accross some brilliant articles - such as the woman in America who got killed by an Eagle Ray (bigger than a Stingray, smaller than a Manta) because she was on the deck of a small speedboat, the boat scared the Ray which jumped out of the water and smacked her in the head at 60mph. Ouch. What are the chances of that happening though? I feel more upset at the loss of the Eagle Ray than an american though, as Eagle Rays are endangered species, and unfortunately americans aren't.
The other article that had me in bits was from the run up to the election here, and I can't believe I've been so slack as to not mention it before. It was from the Malay Mail, and a page regarding the 2 female candidates competing for the area where I live. Their surnames were, and this is no joke "Chew" (Barisan Nasional) and "Kok" (DAP). I don't know how I never mentioned walking down the streets and seing alternating posters shouting CHEW KOK CHEW KOK KOK CHEW KOK all the way down like some stroboscopic sado-masachistic homosexual pornography. Kok won by the way, so I suppose the headline must have been "Victory for Kok", or "Kok is number one" or something else equally squallid. The thing that made me laugh my balls off though came at the bottom of the page (as if it wasn't already hilarious enough) was a photo of Theresa Kok, and a little caption below it that read, and I kid you not
"Kok: It's a gender issue".
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahhahahahhaahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Waaaaaaaahhh
Waaaaahahaahhhahaaaaaaaaaaa.
Yes, I may be nearly 30, but I have been wetting my drawers over that for the last month. I took a picture of it, but am having a few photoshop issues today, so I'll get it uploaded asap so you can all chuckle too. Maybe one of you can send it into Have I got news for you, if it's still going.
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